Orang Kaya makin Kaya, Orang Susah makin Susah.

It has been weeks since I received MELTA Conference 2013 acceptance letter. The acceptance letter has made me smile for weeks. Unfortunately, I need to pay for the slot and currently my family is suffering from a financial crisis. Accordingly, to ask rm400 from my father for the conference is too much.

How can I find rm400 in weeks?

I keep pondering the question. To be realistic, I need more than rm400 in order to attend the conference. Besides the fee, I also need to pay for my own accomodation such as bus tickets and motel. But let us put first thing first. The first thing that I should do is to collect rm400.

The journey for rm400 is not an easy journey. I have made lots of attempts but the one that Im going to share is the one I experience in IPDA, the teaching instituition in which Im currently in.

First, I met a clerk from HEP, Hal Ehwal Pelajaran. He advised me to see the head of HEP but he was not in so was his vice. Instead of asking the clerk when he is going to be in, I just walked out the office saying nothing but thanks.

Then I met my supervisor and talked to him about the rm400. He told me to see the JPP, IPDA students' body, because the JPP has some money for student activities. So I met this girl. A helpful girl from JPP. Together, me and her went to the administration to talk about the money and a clerk there suggested us to meet Timbalan Pengarah. As I was busy with my practical, I cant make it to see the Timbalan Pengarah, so the JPP girl went to see him alone. Isnt she nice?

However, she told me that the Timbalan Pengarah said that we should see Pengarah, not him. After the school holiday, the JPP girl cant make it to see Pengarah with me because she got to visit schools. Instead, she sent me her vice, a chinese boy and a chinese girl. Both are extremely kind and helpful. The three of us walked to see Pengarah.

We got to see him for 5minutes after hours of waiting but was turned down. He said that we should talk to the HEP, not him. Initially, I thought that Pengarah has the most powerful position in an institution but I got it wrong. He is, in my situation, a no one. He cant even talk to someone in order to financially help me. Well. Maybe he did not bother that a student from his institution is going to present her paper in a national conference. Who caresssssss.

The next day, which is today, I was called by my lecturer. I rushed to IPDA just to be informed that my request was rejected by IPDA because she was informed by someone in the HEP that by the time the conference takes place, I am no longer an IPDA student (28-30 May). Though I had expected that this will happen, the tragedy(yes, tragedy!) hurts me. I've received a lot of rejection though what I do will also benefit the institution that I am in. I feel like presenting my paper without mentioning that I am from IPDA. Why do I need to uphold a name that never values my effort?

There are three important facts about me. First, I am bold. Second, I dont give up. Third, I dont give a damn.

Yes, I was rejected but my lecturer was not the one who rejected my request, it was someone in the HEP. Thus, there's no need to persuade my lecturer to help me but the HEP.

I went to HEP and met one of the heads of the department. I informed him my situation and boldly said that my request was rejected by someone in the HEP because by the time the conference takes place, I am no longer an IPDA student. And he replied:
'Siapa cakap?'
I said
'I forgot his name.'

He checked with his clerks and confirmed me that I am still an IPDA student up to June 2013. Hence, the decision to simply reject my request by saying that I am not entitled for the money because I am no longer a student is totally rubbish!

The head of the HEP suggests me to find a Dr to endorse my letters. He gave me a name. I waited for 2hours for a 5minute talk and she said that she couldnt endorse the letters because the conference takes place somewhere not in IPDA. She later directed me to ask either the Pengarah or the Timbalan Pengarah to endorse the letters. Okay, now the I should go back to Timbalan Pengarah and the circle goes.

Hurm, government has provided some money for student activities and all I ask is the money not their pocket money. However, no one seems to have access to the money. I met lecturers, I met student body, I met clerks, I met Timbalan Pengarah, I met Pengarah but no one seems to have the power over the money.

I bumped into the head of HEP on my way back. He asked me to try to seek endorsement from other Drs in IPDA. I wanna see the Drs from the English department but I refuse to bump into my lecturer because she thinks that I dont really need the money. I wouldnt want to go through this hardship if I have the money.

I dont know where this might lead me to but Im not giving up. Rejection cant turn me down. Sorry rejection, I dont bother your existence.

However, Im getting tired of this. If I dont get the money, I WILL NEVER MENTION THAT I WAS ONCE AN IPDA STUDENT. I dont value an institution that refuses to value my work. All I ask is some help but people are passing me around.

Update on April 3rd.
The HEP is really helpful. He helped me a lot with the application. I thank him for being such a nice head who volunteers to help. All I need is a person like him, a responsible leader. The fact that he helps me to keep the chance for me open has brighten my days. I dont need a fast confirmation saying that I'll have the money. I just need a person who are willing to help and not passing me around.