Kacau

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I'm a normal human being who live imperfectly in this perfect world.
and I'm a being who live with flaws and keep making mistakes.
Instead I've underlined before that I'm IMPERFECT.

Looking back to my past, I realise how much things that I've done.
How my life was being destroyed by myself and how people around me helped in destroying my reputation.

I live with hatred that I remember clearly ALL the people I hate and the best thing is, I never keep distance with people I hate. The reason why I hate these people so fucking bad is because I am not a type of girl who'll mess others life and when people mess up mine, I'll become irrationally tempestuous.

I am a type of girl who'll lock herself in her room for hours and enjoy being home. I am a loner who prefer to be alone. I take people words seriously even they think I never take things for granted. While I am alone, I keep thinking over words I heard.

My emotion overwhelm me. I make decisions based on my emotion. Hatred drives me to do things I never think I could do. Revenge takes me to places I never go.

But I pray to God that this is my turning point. I'm sick of myself and done with all the hatred and revenge. I want to be someone I've been before. A girl who cares nothing but her dreams. I've listened to Datuk Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah a lot and I really want to clean this heart. To be a better person and to live life peacefully.

If things are meant to be, it is meant to be. Even if I give my everything to have it, if it's not mine, it will never be mine. If you cant trust me, who can you trust? People say, trust lies at the core of love; there can be no true love without trust.


summer rain - new by ~Lucem on deviantART

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