Day In, Day Out

After going through the most difficult months of my 20s, I've been asked by many on one of the most challenging questions which is: 'How are you, Lisa?' Though I scored in my SPM and my degree, I find the question hard. How should I answer the question? Is it appropriate to boldly reply 'never been better' when they are expecting replies such as 'I hate my life' and 'xxx shxt' since they have earlier prepared useful and meaningful advices for me to carry with me throughout my life? As I love being advised, I choose the latter yet, deep in me, I thank God for the wonderful experience which has transformed me into a better person. However, I am neither an angel nor a person with any angelic characteristic. Instead, as many may have forgotten, I am just a human made of bones and flesh that when I feel that I've been played and wronged refuse to forgive and forget. Further, I still bear with me my high school attitude. The attitude in...

I am an addict, An addict to what? To a number of addictions. I need to see a psychologist, Yet I dont have the money, So I take an alternative, By adhering to steps told by the net. Massive readings are done, Hours are taken to digest, And days are devoted in applying, But the above fail to push away the addictions. Like a drug-addict, Hanging around with the addicts, Socialising with the addicts, And thinking about the addictions, Worsen my addictions. Lying on the bed, Having nothing but wild thoughts, Accompanied by evil inner voices, Bewilder my emotion. The net is disappointing, 'Find someone', they suggest. Out of a massive public, An angel detected, Wearing a human mask, But having a magic stick under his rob, That with an 'Alacadabra', Heals every addiction. Yet angel is an everyone saviour, He goes around waving his stick, That sometimes those who are aided, Adore him too much, Flooded him with unnecassary compliments. Angel ca...

Last Thursday, I decided to do something different with students of 4 Ibnu Sinar (the first class of the form). I went into the class and invited students to share on things that they do when they feel frustrated or emotionally depressed. I made efforts to direct the discussion to the word self-talk and yes, the objective of the lesson was to study and improve on students' self-talk.     Self-talk provides a kind of program that our subconscious minds respond to. Our minds work something like computers: Our brains are the hardware, and what we say to ourselves is the software.   (Isaac & Ritchey, 1989, p.3) Self-talk was chosen because from readings, I discover that positive self-talk helps to raise students' confidence. Scholars believe that raising students' confidence is essential as self-perception predicts learning and student performance. Thus, self-talk can be of much help to my group of student as I discover that the students are suffering fro...

Since the Government introduces MBMMBI, many are complaining on the limited amount of time students are exposed to English or the L2. As an English teacher, or a going-to-be an English teacher, I was made believed by media and people around me that MBMMBI is a policy that will, in a long run, result in the deterioration of English proficiency among Malaysians. However, today I realise that some people who are proselytising the above are being selfish as today I discover that the efficacy of MBMMBI should not be solely judged on its impacts on Malaysian English development but also on Malaysian Malay language development. From my point of view, MBMMBI is indeed a brilliant policy as it embarks on preparing a good foundation to uphold Malay language among Malaysian students as their standard of Malay language is disappointing. Whilst Malay language teachers in major cities in Malaysia are reading Malay language essays that are filled with bahasa rojak and language of texting, Malay ...

This school has a routine in which in every two weeks, there will be an informal assembly; basically, a formal whole school meeting where teachers can bash students . Though assemblies are the most useless school agendas for me, I find no harm in it yet there is something that really bothers me. It is the routine of calling a 'misbehaved' student on the stage and bash him/her in front of the students and teachers. Last two week, I saw a girl student standing on the stage and was scolded for wearing a slack insteaf of a tracksuit. Though I consider it as a public humiliation, I take it positively. I make myself agree to call it an act of reminding students on what they should wear. However, today's story hit me. A 13 years old boy was bashed for his hairstyle. It was not that bad. It was an everyday boy hairstyle that one sees in their everyday life. I wont mind if the boy standing there is a 17 years old boy with scars everywhere on his body as that kind of boy mi...

Student 1: My father is too old for work. I am the only child so I am not so much a burden for my family. Student 2: My father refuses to work. Me: Is he? Student 2: (silence) He works, sometimes. Me: So your mother is the breadwinner of your family? What does she do? Student 2: She sells kuih in a nearby wet market. Me: Oh. She must be making a lot of money then. Student 2: Just enough to keep the business going. Me: Okay. Do you have brothers and sisters? Student 2: I am the eldest of 4 and the youngest is 6. Me: Don't you get any scholarship? Student 2: I have one from the Kebajikan Masyarakat. They give me RM300 every month. Me: Oh. Okay, that's a lot of help. Student 2: My family uses it to pay the house rent and utilities. Me: (speechless) Let's fight poverty in our community first. Whilst we might be spending RM100 for another pair of heels, there might be a family who need the same amount of money to buy sacks of rice, sugar, salt an...

I stand by a mirror, Gazing at each point of my physical reflection, Criticising on the weak points, And be proud of the others. Out of sudden, I found myself enjoying the activity. Looking in the mirror, I got to realise tht I am no longer the girl I used to be, I start having rough lines on my neck, I realise tht I am getting older, Older by age and older by experience. Experience. The person in front of the mirror, Is a product of hardship, hurt and non-acceptance, Rough with words, Scared with the replies. I look deep into my eyes and I discover a lot, I discover tht life has taught me a lot, On how to survive, It sounds wonderful to be taught on life by life, But I learnt it the hard way. Hard enough tht so many times, I found my lung refuses to breathe. Checking on my chapped lips, I realise tht my smile line has gone missing, It is not shocking as it has been months since I have forgotten on how to smile, Do I need to first move the right lip or ....